


Dreams of Deities

by Peryton



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, The Sandman (Comics), The Wicked + The Divine
Genre: Gen, I Don't Even Know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 01:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6449146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peryton/pseuds/Peryton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble where Luci and Laura meet some of the Discworld Gods and some of the Endless from Sandman. Because I’m clearly still not over what happened in the end of the first tpb. Or the second.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams of Deities

Laura sat up rubbing her head, she didn’t remember falling asleep, she definitely didn’t remember falling asleep on a sofa in what looked like an abandoned house that someone had decided to decorate with bright colours and glitter but then got bored half way through. Laura looked around and noticed Luci leaning against the wall, a cigarette between her fingers.

Laura frowned, vaguely recalling that Luci shouldn’t be here, but she couldn’t remember why.

“Where are we?” Laura asked.

A girl with black hair and thick eyeliner walked in at that moment, she was wearing all black which made her skin pale look ethereal.

“Wherever you believe happens next.” The dark haired girl said, Luci laughed at that. “I thought you might appreciate what a different me would have said.” The girl said shrugging.

Her face took on the shadows of the flickering lights for a moment, enhancing her features and making her face appear skull-like with bright blue piercing lights where her eyes should be.

“Cool trick.” Luci said unimpressed. “I could do the skull thing, but it’s a bit passé for my tastes.”

Luci turned to Laura, lighting the cigarette resting between her lips with a click of her fingers. That brought back a vague memory for Laura but she brushed it off, the feeling that something was wrong settling back to a dull niggling sensation.

“Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a good Goth look, but I think you’re playing to the wrong crowd.” Luci said eyeing the dark haired girl. “I think it’s more the Morrigan’s style, in her grungy underground clubs, pretending to be edgy when in reality the only the only thing she has ever done is put her life in the hands of a heavily tattooed man with an ear piercer gun.”

“You’re where the dimensions are thinner, easier to pass through, that’s why you’re here. Well, one of the reasons.” The Goth girl said answering Laura’s question.

“Is this real?” Laura asked.

“A …friend of mine once said that Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”

“That’s great but it doesn’t really answer her question.” Luci said impatiently.

“Look at it this way; does it matter if it’s real or not? It’s happening to you now, are dreams any less real while you’re dreaming?”

“When you wake up it’s pretty damn obvious that they’re not real.” Luci said glaring at the dark haired girl.

“What if you never wake up?” the Goth girl asked serenely.

Laura shared a look with Luci before her attention was drawn back to the room by the sound beating wings, Laura looked around to find the Goth girl had disappeared.

“Well. That’s annoying.” Luci said breaking the silence.

“How long have you been here?” Laura asked Luci.

“A while, but also, not very long.” Luci shrugged, “Kind of like when you don’t realise that years are passing you by until you wake up at forty with the bitter realisation you’ve wasted your life in a job you hate.”

“Wow. Are you quoting Daria?”

 “Come on, you won’t believe the neighbours.” Luci said ignoring Laura’s comment, leading her out the room and towards the distant sound of voices.

“New people!” A clapping of hands and the delighted greeting alerted Laura to the presence of a woman who was curled up in a bean bag amidst a pile of what looked like floating jellyfish.

Laura stared at the jellyfish in confusion, wondering how they were being kept in the air.

A dishevelled woman with short blonde hair stood up from the bean bag and moved towards the two of them, leaving the jellyfish to bounce along in their haste to stay near her.

“Err, hi.” Laura said, staring at Luci who just rolled her eyes and looked skywards. “I’m Laura.”

“This is my erm, house?” The blonde said doubtfully.

“What’s your name?” Laura asked, hoping to give the girl something more certain to answer. Although this still seemed to puzzle the girl who looked around in confusion for a few moments.

“You can call me Dee… I think… You met my sister earlier.” Dee said poking absentmindedly at the jellyfish that were bumping around her head.

“Oh, the Goth girl?” Luci asked perking up a bit, “Where is she now?”

“She’s probably off talking to our brother. There’s always some important stuff he has to do, or he’s involved in. I’m more the,” Dee waved her hand indicating in the multi-coloured jellyfish that were still following her, gently bouncing into each other causing them to spin off course and hit the walls, breaking into smaller jellyfish or sometimes tiny tubs of ice cream.

“Weird one?” Luci answered wryly.

Dee walked with them towards the voices, which were mostly congregated in the kitchen of the house, on the way they passed a woman in what looked like an ancient Greek or Roman dress, Laura never was much good at history, holding a penguin.

“One of yours?” Luci asked Dee nodding at the woman.

The blonde girl beside them wrinkled her nose and looked at the woman dressed in a toga and trying in vain to balance her penguin on her shoulder.

“No… I think she’s Errata’s? Or… is Errata hers?” Dee mused.

Laura looked at Luci confused with the conversation but Luci just shook her head.

Eventually Dee led them to the kitchen which held an assortment of strange people who all looked like they were in fancy dress. Laura noticed two people who were wearing masks of bird heads and one shirtless man with a crocodile head who was avidly watching a frying pan filled with sausages.

After a brief nonsensical explanation of the appliances Dee left them to their own devices.

“Trust us to get the crazy to take us on a tour.” Luci snarked.

“Well this is her home-”

“I doubt it; she’s probably just off her meds and wandered into this abandoned building with the other wackos.”

Just then a man in a suspiciously stained toga pushed past Laura.

“I need to make an offering to Vometia.” He said as he rushed past them, holding his hands over his mouth.

“I didn’t even see him drink last night.” One of the animal headed people commented as the group watched the toga clad man run off towards the bathroom.

“Well, no, he never touches the stuff. He’s an Oh God.” Said one of the women who was holding what looked like a stuffed rabbit.

Unlike most of the people Laura had seen she was dressed in what looked like regular clothes. Except she had a strange collection of animal skins around her neck and shoulders, and Laura thought she saw a snakeskin belt around her waist.

“What’s an Oh God?” Laura asked curiously, who realised that on closer inspection the rabbit the woman was holding wasn’t a toy but rather a flattened animal, its head hanging at an unnatural angle.

“Well people always say Oh God when they pray to us.” The woman shrugs and pulled the squashed rabbit closer to her, Laura noticed the fur stole she had round her neck was covered in tyre marks and the snakeskin belt was, well, still snakeskin but judging by the smell and the dripping from the head it still had the snake’s organs in too.

“So, you’re a God?” Laura asked the

“An Oh God.” The woman corrected, “We’re all Oh Gods or Gods here.”

“Oh…” Laura said still confused.

“Exactly.” The woman said nodding as Luci dragged Laura away from the kitchen and towards an empty part of the house.

“Do you see what I’ve had to deal with here?” Luci said staring back at the people gathered in the kitchen with thinly veiled disgust.

“She said these are all Gods, shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, friendly or something?” Laura said.

“I’ve not seen anyone here do anything even remotely godlike, did you see that girl wedging the drawers in the kitchen full of spatulas and forcing them shut?”

“Well they can’t all be performing to packed concert halls every night.” Laura retorted.

Luci raised her eyebrow and looked appraisingly at Laura

“When did you grow a pair? I think I like snarky you.”

“What are we doing here?” Laura asked as Luci started opening doors and peering in corridors in the deceptively large house seemingly at random.

“We’re just-” Luci said as she opened another door and peered inside the corridor she had discovered. “Found it!”

“Found _what?_ Did you know this place was here?”

“I had a feeling, call it a Godly instinct.” Luci said superiorly.

“Is this a doorway to another reality, like in Monsters Inc?”

“Please don’t ever say anything I do reminds you of a Disney movie ever again.” Luci said rolling her eyes. “That girl we saw said the dimensions were thinner here, this clearly isn’t where we’re from, so we can either go back or on to somewhere new.”

“How will we know if we’re going home or not?” Laura asked peering into the doorway Luci was standing in front of, unable to make out anything past the doorframe.

“Anywhere is better than here.” Luci said, holding out her hand to Laura.

Laura took a deep breath and held onto her hand she closed her eyes as Luci pulled her through the doorway with her.

Once through the doorway Laura looked up at the darkness of the sky above her, the tiny pinpricks of light casting shadows onto Luci’s face and smiled.

And above, unbeknownst to her, she was looking directly into the fathomless eyes of a skinny middle aged man. The man looked up from Laura and the world she was now in and leaned back from the board, his face an expression of annoyance as he turned to the woman beside him.

“What the hell was that?” Fate asked irritably.

“You know that Gods never play by the rules.” The Lady said with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is weird form of procrastination from my other fic I meant to continue today, and unless you’ve read some Discworld books it probably makes very little sense. Hell, it probably makes very little sense even if you have.
> 
> I’m still not sure on what Ananke’s plan is in the Wicked and the Divine, I mainly took ideas about Gods from the Discworld, in particular Small Gods and the Hogfather (with some Gods from The Last Hero thrown in).
> 
> Discworld Gods referenced or mentioned:  
> Patina Goddess of Wisdom –who has a penguin because her sculptor didn’t know what owls looked like.  
> Errata Goddess of misunderstandings.  
> Aniger Oh Goddess of squashed animals.  
> Bilious Oh God of hangovers.  
> Vometia ancient Ankh Morpork Goddess of being sick.  
> Anoia Goddess of things stuck in drawers.  
> Offler the crocodile headed God. Likes sausages.  
> Fate   
> The Lady   
> My favourite God I didn’t fit in: Sweevo the God who prohibits the practice of panipunitiplasty among his followers, even though neither he nor any of his followers knows what panupanitoplasty is, but he keeps the commandment because it worries his worshippers.


End file.
